Getting my ducks in a row

the beginning of the end

2007-05-05T23:22:00.000-07:00

so if this is the end , where has it all begun
if in fact this is the end then whats done is done
where am i now , where am i to be
where is the end that i now for see

the lights dancing in my head has started to fade
the smiles gone , leaving behind a face so sad
what hurts most is the unknown
what life may bring in the next morn

so if this is the beginning , where will it end
where will life go , when will this straight road bend
alas i can no longer pretend
that life will heal , that the heart will mend

so this is hate

2007-04-30T01:52:00.000-07:00

so this is hate
so says my closest mate
thats why i wish i could just bash in his head
untill hes just burnt and dead

so this is hate
so says my best mates date
thats why shes going to suffer the same
a cute dead damsel , such a shame

so this is hate
so says the president , the Great
in his late night speach
to the insolent pups that he do teach

so this is love

2007-04-26T01:06:00.000-07:00

so this is love
at least thats what the stars are saying above
thats what the sea turtles are whining about
thats why im still so in doubt

so this is love
so says the lonely high flying dove
wish i could give it a good wicked shove
in to the boggy marsh grove

so this is love
and i have run out of words to rhyme with love
so says i , the one whose trying to rhyme
hmm , you know what rhymes with rhyme , its lime

do you really have to be negatively different to be unique

2007-02-10T21:01:00.000-08:00

hmm...do you really have to be angry inside to show that you are uniquely different , do you really have to rant about nonsence and be a freak , have a permanent frown or dumb smile on your face , try to be extremely funny when even you dont enjoy being funny and other people find it extremely annoying , try to be absolutely unconcerned about everything and try acting like you dont give an absoloodle f fucking fuck about anything when you really do cause its hip...hmm again ...do you have to shout out ,be angry ,act dumb,cry,laugh as if you were crazy....just to be different,just to get noticed cause you havent got anything in you that anyone would be bothered about to notice in the first place...

Would the love you love be real if

2007-02-09T18:22:00.000-08:00

when you see a woman stand up for her rights and raise her voice and if you were in the visinity to witness that episode you say that shes an intolerable bitch who would definitely sleep with anybody of choice (including you) , and then you go home to your wife,mother or sister and say that you love her.

when some female employee gets a promotion you say that she must have slept with at least two third of the senior staff to have gotten there, and when your sister or mother gets a promotion at her job its....

when your close friends divorced mother is sexy as hell and you have unconventional thoughts about her ,and then you go home and say to your mother that you love her very much.

these situations i have encountered in the past two days...these are just questions ...i dont know the answers

How novels shape our lifes

2007-02-08T12:10:00.000-08:00

The first novel i really identified myself is The Otsiders ,which i got on my 13th birthday from my family (specially from my dad...love you dad if you are reading this) .Ponyboy Curtis my first real idol, true genious of S.E Hinton. Read it so many times that i cant really tell how many.Someday im gonna give my son the same novel on his thirteenth birtday...

Greasers the toughest bunch of hoodlums on this side of the green line...tough in every sence of the word...cool guys that stick with each other through everything....well im not gonna go in to the stuff too much cuz it might ruin it for you when and if you ever read it.

Next in line comes Great Expectations by Charles Dickens...but well thats for another day

holding my frustrations within

2007-01-25T13:27:00.000-08:00

went out with my bloody file wishing that i was anywhere but here (mostly home with my wife) ...on the way met one of my colleagues smiled and said something pleasant...never registering that i had said anything at all...all the while wanting to just bash his head in with my bloody file ...flight landed...went outer still (always wanted to say outer instead of more out or some gibberish whatsoever)...so my flight landed ....wanted to just throw the bloody file on the apron and stomp up and down on it until bits and pieces fell apart....fisted my hands a couple of times and then went and did the flight...found that i still actually enjoyed it...barely

my hand at it

2007-01-16T13:44:00.000-08:00

yesterdee while the dung beetles were crawling all over the shitty mess that i made while i was picking a fight with my inner turmoil (which of course my inner turmoil won...but hell i gave a fight that was worth an Arthurian knight) , the sun set over the bloody horizon...as the stars cluster fucked with the upcoming imminence of doom i lay down and slept..

no time no time ..

somebody better read this

snakes right outside our High court

2007-01-14T19:32:00.000-08:00

yesterday i on occation had to go to Dhivehiraageyge High Court...since my last visit there the place had gotten some structural modifications...so enough with the bush beating...

well anyway as i tried to open (which clearly stated that this was the High Court) the entrance door to the place there was this hissing sound behind me...in fright, with my heart racing i looked behind me imagining the worst...behind me stood a man/guard/snake and he was pointing to a door futhur along...

so in quite relief i walked to that door and started to open that one(this one had a smaller sign board stating the obvious), even succeeded in opening it partially when that hissing sound came again...i froze thinking i was a gonner this time(might have even peed in my pants if i hadn't peed a while earlier)...i looked back and the guard was pointing to an entrance still futher along...

and that finally led to where i wanted to go (away from the hissing and that man/guard/snake)...funny thing was this entrance did not have a sign board at all...imagine all the people that had to go through that nightmare before...

sorry this sounded too much like a narration

saw it and loved it

2007-01-08T13:30:00.000-08:00

Adam Sandler - Grow Old with You
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you.
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growin old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you, I'll even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in the kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man to grow old with you.
I wanna grow old with you.

short skirts, well oiled legs and wedding parties

2007-01-08T11:43:00.000-08:00

if you want to see the trio together then the obvious thing to do is to get invited to a wedding party...( o crash one if you were upto it, the choice is obviously yours ) ...short skirts and well oiled legs, the main attraction at wedding parties these days, the center of attraction infact (even more than the wedding couple as it happens)....

those smooth legs just makes you want to reach out feel that smoothness... see if its for real..see if the gleam in them is for real...by the way in my experiance just looking at them isn't too bad either ( just looking at them being my only option )....

u forget about what you were eating...spill your drink on yourself ( and never notice that you have spilled )....forget that your mom, your sister or even your wife is sitting right next to you while you are drooling and popping your eyes out at those well oiled gleaming legs with utter facination....oh! boy it would happen to the best of us.....

and the best thing is, sometimes as it happens theres more than one of these facinations roaming around....yup get filled up in several places at once...and sometimes ( very rarely if you dont be very careful ) you even make little moaning sounds in your throat...and when the person next to you looks at you in mock horror, you make as if a piece of what you were eating got stuck in your throat...and then of course there are the day dreams...

new year and new found intoxications

2007-01-01T10:38:00.000-08:00

new year came with a bang actually...and somewhat undesirable circumstances...and the title is the limit that I'm willing to blog about the said circumstances...enjoyed my time with my good buds and that's that...

shucks...i don't even want to talk about last year because the only thing that matters now is how it ended...I'm not proud of myself (so long all the happy stuff that happened to me last year)

actually i never did intend to write about new years anyway...i was going to write about how it all began, but that will have to wait for a later time...i close my eyes, look in to my life and its frightening...for the first time in so long a time I'm frightened for my life and people that are in my life.

hard times await...God help me

to blog or not to blog

2006-12-25T10:00:00.000-08:00

have had mused for a while on the subject of blogging...Well more precisely should i blog or should i not...having had mused likewise for a conciderable amount of time i havent yet come to a conclution...hmm rather a question pops in my mind what is blogging and whats there to blog about...(thats actually two questions but what the hell)...i havent had my dinner yet so thats about ten minutes more for me to muse...(about ten minutes pause for deep musing)thinking about with my not so brilliant mind i have come to this....i havent got that many problems to blog about... i dont need an emotional outlet in the form of a blog...i not much of a literary man, so if i was to write crap about crap no one would want to give a crap about it...(talking about literature i never did like literature as a subject,maybe ill blog about it later sometime)...i havent got any bold statements to make about myself,or on any subject for that matter...and im absolutely not a wanna be stand up comic...nor a wanna be freak show(no pun intended)...nor a wanna be pimp master with holy intentions......aah its been too long already...nobody will read this... ill finish for now...and i havent decided yet...to blog or not to blog(come to think of it i have blogged a lot today havent i...or is this concidered musing)

finding nemo (at last)

2006-12-13T14:01:00.000-08:00

massege for my wife

2006-11-08T22:00:00.000-08:00

mo thimilai maya gar chhu

living to love and die loving you

2006-11-06T13:33:00.000-08:00

What is life without you
What emptiness life would go through
What would life have to do
What is there to live without you

Wence i close my eyes all i see is your beautiful face
Never would i want you out of my gaze
Wish that image forever stays
For without you what is there to live

From living to love to die loving you
I give my whole life unto you
I give my heart and soul too
I give my love so true

Dedicated to my lovely wife

2006-11-01T03:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday while sitting on the ferry I looked over and saw one of my friends sitting serenely and peacefully, but something was out of place. For she used to smile a lot. Not a hint of a smile was left. (smile in the sense having that aura of unending happiness in her face)

I thought to myself I used to smile a lot, I used to smile a lot with her, I used to smile a lot with a lot of people. Its really hard now. Smiling.